The fact is that God wants you and me to enjoy our lives. We are not bound to a life of misery and pain. This is the way it is, and there is nothing that can be done about it. No sir, God wants us to know the fullness of His joy and to experience a rich and abundant life even here on earth. It is okay to have a good time. It is okay to enjoy life. We are not called to live as a monk never to know happiness. God has given you and me permission to make full use of the great many good things He has left us in the world. Is not the smell of freshly baked bread something to enjoy? (Not to mention taking a piece while it is still hot and buttering it as your taste buds salivate waiting. Sorry all of you who are on a low-carb diet.) We are not to indulge to the point of gluttony, but enjoy it we can and with God’s blessing.

One area that is so much more important than what we have already discussed is what he tells us in verse 9. We can live joyfully with the wife of our youth. My dear friends, not only is marriage blessed by God, but it is one of the great blessings He has provided for us. I am glad that we did not lose that privilege in the fall of man. I am glad that relationship is still available to us today; that the Book still says, “Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing.” You can and should rejoice with the wife of thy youth, for she is the companion that complements you. She is your better half, and he is yours. To walk through the high days and the low together is a privilege, as is to have a counselor and friend. God is saying, “Go ahead, enjoy your relationship. Indulge yourself in her love, and she in yours.” Friend, it is more than okay, it is encouraged. Enjoy life with the one you love.

Pastor Caleb Bottrell

After living a life of wisdom, King Lemuel’s mother knew what type of woman would bring the greatest joy to her son. She endeavored to impart to him the most important character traits that he should look for in a mate. Could I encourage all you mothers whom I know want the very best for your sons? It has long been said that a boy will marry a girl who is like his mother. So I suppose that the best way to ensure that your boy picks this Proverbs 31 woman for his wife is to be such a woman yourself. What a rare and precious gift from God for any man to have a virtuous woman, one whose heart is true and whose hands are given to work.  A virtuous woman is one who selflessly sacrifices to gladly serve her family with great purpose. How foolish for anyone to say a wife and mother has no occupation! Any virtuous woman is given to a continual goal of providing for her family all she can, from putting delicious meals on the table that the whole family loves, to buying the needed provisions at the best possible price. All this industrious and gracious love is rooted in a fear of God. 

Men, shame on us if God has blessed us with such a woman, and we fail to express how important she is to us. Praise for her should never be far from our lips.  Children, you have a mom who is the honor of your family. You better stop and thank her. You better rise up and call her blessed. The praise and thanks of a woman’s children and husband will do more than ten thousand applauds from a stranger. However, often a stranger sees her labor of love for us when our own eyes fail to see it. Ma’am, will you aspire to be such a woman? Men and children, will you today thank God for the amazing lady He has brought into your life? 

Pastor Caleb Bottrell

While King Ahasuerus is having a huge feast, he and his guests get drunk. In this drunken state, he fails in one of his most primary responsibilities as a husband. The king failed as a husband by not protecting his wife’s purity. Let me pause for a moment to remind you that the drinking of alcohol is wicked, vile, and goes against the law of God. Participating in it is a sin, and it will almost always drive people to other forms of sin. Alcohol has always destroyed families, and the family of King Ahasuerus is no different. While drunk, he demanded that his wife be brought so that her beauty could be displayed for the pleasure of his guests. The Bible is always careful to be discreet in sexual matters, and the king’s demand was a degrading, impure one. While it is unlikely that the queen was a godly woman, she had enough dignity to refuse the king his drunken demand. In a fit of rage that he would later regret, King Ahasuerus sends his wife away. A lesson to be learned from this story is that no matter the consequences, purity is worth protecting.

I. Husbands and fathers should be protectors of purity.

The queen should never have been put in this position by her husband. It is the responsibility of the husband to protect his wife, and one area he is responsible to protect is her purity. Husbands should treat their wives with honor. They should help their wives understand how what they wear affects the men that see them. They have the same responsibility toward their daughters. It should be the desire of every father to give away a pure daughter at the marriage altar. That will only happen if you protect her purity.

II. Women should protect their purity.

God gave women a special gift in their purity. That gift is one He intends for them to give to their husband and no other. A woman protects her purity by what she wears, how she carries herself, how she interacts with other men, and what she participates in.

III. Men should protect the purity of women.

Men’s first responsibility in protecting the purity of women is to protect the purity of their own thought life. They must also be guarded in their speech and actions about or toward other women. A man protects the purity of a woman by not stealing her affection from the man she is married to or will marry. God’s plan for this is found in 1 Corinthians 7:1, “It is good for a man not to touch a woman.”

Pastor Derek Renshaw

We hear the phrase “Heaven on Earth” often in our culture. Usually, this phrase is used to describe overwhelming joy or peace. This carries the idea of an ideal. There have been at least ten movies or plays, ten songs, and three books with this phrase in their title. I doubt there are many people who think of the Bible when they hear this phrase, although I would venture a guess that this passage in Deuteronomy is the first recorded use of the expression. I also highly doubt that anyone would apply this phrase the way the Bible does. Here in Deuteronomy, God says a family with children in the home can experience “Heaven on Earth.” This is not the case with most homes and most families. The popular term today is “dysfunctional.” The truth is there are no perfect families. The basic definition for a dysfunctional family is a family where conflict and misbehavior occur frequently. That sounds like every home I know of. I understand that there are homes where serious problems are taking place, and I am not minimizing that in any way. What we see in this chapter is that God can take dysfunctional (sinful) people and create “Heaven on Earth.” We just have to do things His way.

I. The Word of God must be personal.

Verse eighteen starts with the requirement that each individual must lay up God’s Word in their heart and soul. For a family to experience “Heaven on Earth” each member of the family has to be saved and walking with God. The question is asked in Amos, “Can two walk together, except they be agreed?” A family will not be able to have harmony unless each member is walking with God and the family is walking together. Nothing will kill harmony in a marriage and home faster than pride, carnality, and selfishness.

II. The Word of God must be prominent.

Verses eighteen and twenty continue with the prominence the Bible needs to have in a family’s life. In your hand, between your eyes, and having it on the door speak of how important it should be in the home. How important would your wife, kids, or husband say the Bible is in your home?

III. The Word of God must be propagated.

Verse nineteen commands that the Bible must be taught to children in the home. It is not the pastor’s or the church’s job to teach your children the Bible. That is the job of the home. Do your children have devotions? Do you discuss them with them? Does your family have devotions daily together? Do you want “Heaven on Earth” in your home?

Pastor Derek Renshaw

In these two verses is set forth the great importance of vows. Are vows of any use today? I think they are for at least two reasons. First, they help us focus. When you make a vow, you are saying that you are going to do something specific. We can say, “Lord, I need to witness more,” or we can say, “I’m going to tell my neighbor about Christ.”

Second, vows allow us to express our love. That is why couples make vows during a marriage ceremony. Vows are the language of love. Love is more than just a feeling, it is a commitment or promise to be married until death do us part.

While it may be helpful to make a vow or an oath to God today, remember this: We don’t succeed as Christians because we make promises to God, but because we believe the promises God has made to us and act upon them. That being said, many of us need to get serious in our walk with God. We need to get specific with our God and make some vows as Christians.

Verse 2 stresses the important matter of keeping the vows we make. What one chooses to vow to the Lord is of his own free will. The fact is a vow is voluntary. God does not demand a vow from us. However, our love for Him and our desire to please Him by bringing honor and glory to His name motivates us to make a vow and then ask for God’s help in keeping that vow.

You see, after a vow has been made unto God we must be reminded that this is not a light matter. The question I have for you all is twofold. First, are you close enough to God to vow a vow unto Him? Are you actively surrendering unto Him those things God has given you control over? Secondly, are you keeping the vows you made? Many Christians have vowed a vow in the hour of great need or the time of sickness. Though when the need was met or the sickness passed, they just discarded their vow. This passage is clear – God will not hold them guiltless who turn back on their vows.

Pastor Caleb Bottrell

Peek in with me at the first marriage ceremony in the history of the world, officiated by God Himself, a perfect relationship that had been orchestrated by God. A trip to Matthew 19:4-5 will reveal that this idea of a one flesh marital bond was one dictated by God Himself and not Adam as it appears in the passage.

I. Leaving

The marital relationship is one of forsaking. Not that you cannot maintain relationships outside of the marriage, but those relationships should not even approach the value of the relationship of the marriage. Many marriage vows acknowledge this in saying “forsaking all others as long as you both shall live.”

II. Cleaving

This word cleave means that the marriage relationship should be treasured by both parties. It is the same word used to illustrate how God wanted the Israelites to hold onto their inheritance as it had been given them by God. Jesus said that a marriage is joined together by God. Let that union be something we treasure and invest in.

III. Weaving

“They shall be one flesh.” This is a command given by God. It is something that both is true in the eyes of God and should be evident in our marriages. As with any command, it is something that must be obeyed. Just like two pieces of thread can come together and be weaved into something beautiful and inseparable, God can take two distinct individuals and weave them together into a one flesh relationship that can only be described as a masterpiece.

Pastor Derek Renshaw

In these first few verses we have a descriptive declaration of how Solomon saw his bride. Without question we would not use the likenesses used in our text to let our bride know she is beautiful, but to a lady of this time period there are things that were well known that made this poetic description that much more precious. If you can picture him lifting the veil and looking into her eyes, they are as white and beautiful as a dove. Then he is able to see her hair. One might think, “I would not want my hair to be compared to a flock of goats.” You need to know that the herdsmen would take their goats up into the mountain in the morning and return in the evening. All in the valley could look up and see the hair of the jet black goats as the setting sun bathed them in glorious light.

Okay then, it is as if he has lost his mind to say her teeth are like a flock of sheep. However, he is giving her high praise indeed. At a time when dental care might not have been a priority, here is a lady who had all of her teeth first of all; not only that, they were clean. You see, the banks of the river were steep and they did not want to lose any sheep in the water, so to bathe them they would take them down into the water by twos. He appreciates the fact that her teeth were straight and not missing. The description of her lips shows he liked how they were, but more importantly he valued the speech that came from them. Men, we would do well to value what our wives have to say and not just their body.

When he describes her temples, the commentators believe he is referring to her cheeks and that they are red. This may be from some type of makeup but might just be a blush that has taken over her face to hear her lover describe her so. As he goes on again, the descriptive language and its meaning might elude us, but he is describing her neck as strong. As fair as she is, that does not make her weak and small. On the contrary, there is about her a level of royal dignity that many would find hard to reach. Her back is straight and strong.

I am going to stop here in the text for obvious reasons. Christian, God has put this in His Word for a reason. The world has taken that which is holy, pure, and beautiful and made it into something filthy. Don’t be afraid of this text God has put in His Word. Let me close with this encouragement to the men. Your wife should be the most beautiful lady in the world to you. I want you to notice that Solomon’s focus was not just on the parts of the body that have been sensualized, but all of her, even her speech.

Pastor Caleb Bottrell

Let me welcome you to the book of Song of Solomon. This unique collection of songs written by Solomon is all about the close, even intimate, relationship between the king and his bride. Most commentators on the book of Song of Solomon apply the text to us by comparing the king to Christ and his bride to the church. While this is a viable method of application for the text whereby we may be challenged spiritually, I don’t believe this to be the interpretation. When one tries to make this the interpretation, it falls apart pretty quickly. An allegorical method of interpretation leads to some truly horrendous heresy which tends to be the end of just about all allegorical interpretation of the Scriptures.

The picturesque language used by Solomon and his bride to describe their pure and passionate love for one another is understood a little easier if you know the historical context of the time. I don’t have sufficient room to try to give this to you here. I encourage you to do some reading to help bring meaningful application from this rich book that is many times overlooked because the subject is at best uncomfortable to deal with and at worst not understood. This book clearly teaches the value and beauty of the intimate relationship between a husband and wife. This part of the marriage relationship is not only acceptable to God but is encouraged by God, and why not? For we are His creation.

In verse six of chapter one there is a phrase that has been used by many to teach good things such as the following: You should not worry about someone else’s home; you need to worry about your own. Stop trying to raise other people’s kids; raise your own. Also, a church should not mess with another church. While these are good statements, they don’t even touch on the interpretation of the verse. In this passage, the bride is describing her anticipation of the wedding night. Naturally, there is some apprehension as she says, “Don’t look, my skin is sun-baked.” They did not have the desire of so many today to get as tanned as possible. They looked at that as being careless in the sun. She had to work out in the vineyard. This she did with skill and faithfulness, but she felt she had neglected her own vineyard in the process. Let me say that her beauty was far more than skin deep. The king was ravished with her beauty even though she was a little self-conscious about it.

I suppose there are two lessons here for us. First ma’am, I think it would do wonders for your own self-image if you took some time to keep the vineyard. That is all I am going to say about that, lest I get into trouble. The second lesson is for us, men. Your love and passion for her should not be skin deep. She should feel beautiful when she is with you because of how you make her feel.